i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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