My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
