Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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