They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We have started to decorate penises.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
