I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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