you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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