do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have tasted many bathrooms
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
