the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
