Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
