what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
