better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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