Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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