I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
