i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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