so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
