too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
