Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
