They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
