Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
