On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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