Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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