I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
