And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
