Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
