Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
