Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
