where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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