Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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