There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
