I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
