waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
