There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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