tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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