How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
