I wish my penis had an off switch
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
