Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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