I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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