OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
