Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
