There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
