walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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