Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
