He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
