I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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