You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
