I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
