too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
