a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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