I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
