Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
