i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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