I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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