Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
