we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
