I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
