his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
