just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
