And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
