Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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