Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You dont lie about slip and slides
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
