he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
