you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
